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His wife decided that she wanted to go out on the lake and enjoy the sunset so she went down to the lake and pushed the canoe out.

Not long afterwards a gamewarden came by, and asked if she had her fishing license with her. "I'm not fishing" she replied. The warden answered back, "Well perhaps not, but you have all the equipment. I'm going to have to write you a citation for not having a license."

The wife slightly aggitated but quick on her feet said to him, "Well, alright. But I'm going to have to call the cops and have you arrested for raping me.". "What!!" the game warden replied, "I didn't rape you!". To this the woman replied, "Well perhaps not, but you have all the equipment."]]> http://huntingjokes.thejokeindex.com/index.php?entry=entry080717-181449 The Joke Index hj@thejokeindex.com Fri, 18 Jul 2008 01:14:49 GMT http://huntingjokes.thejokeindex.com/comments.php?y=08&m=07&entry=entry080717-181449 http://huntingjokes.thejokeindex.com/index.php?entry=entry080625-142542
As the lawyer climbed over the fence, an elderly farmer drove up on his tractor and asked the lawyer what he was doing.

The lawyer responded, "I shot a duck and it fell into this field, and now I'm going to retrieve it."

The old farmer replied. "This is my property, and your not coming over here."

The indignant lawyer replied. "I'm one of the best trial lawyers around, and if you don't let me get that duck, I'll sue you and take everything that you own.

The old farmer smiled and said, "Apparently, you don't know how we do things in these parts. We settle small disagreements like this, with the Three Kick Rule."

The lawyer asked, "What is the Three Kick Rule?"

The farmer replied, "Well, first I kick you three times and then you kick me three times, and so on, back and forth until someone gives up."

The lawyer quickly thought about the proposed contest and decided that he could easily take the old codger. He agreed to abide by the local custom.

The old farmer slowly gets down from the tractor and walked up to the city fella. His first kick planted the toe of his heavy work boot into the lawyer's groin, which dropped him to his knees.

His second kick nearly ripped the nose off his face.

The lawyer was flat on his belly, when the farmer's third kick to a kidney nearly causing him to give up, but didn't.

The lawyer summoned every bit of his will and managed to get to his feet and said, "Okay, now it's my turn."

The old farmer smiled and said,

"Naw, I give up, You can keep the duck!"]]> http://huntingjokes.thejokeindex.com/index.php?entry=entry080625-142542 The Joke Index hj@thejokeindex.com Wed, 25 Jun 2008 21:25:42 GMT http://huntingjokes.thejokeindex.com/comments.php?y=08&m=06&entry=entry080625-142542 http://huntingjokes.thejokeindex.com/index.php?entry=entry080529-235123
The group appointed Joe to get supplies.

Joe went into the store and bought 10 bottles of whiskey, 12 cases of beer and 2 packages of hotdogs.

When he returned to the camp the group looked in his truck and they asked, "Joe, what in the world are we gonna do with all them damn hotdogs?"]]> http://huntingjokes.thejokeindex.com/index.php?entry=entry080529-235123 The Joke Index hj@thejokeindex.com Fri, 30 May 2008 04:51:23 GMT http://huntingjokes.thejokeindex.com/comments.php?y=08&m=05&entry=entry080529-235123 http://huntingjokes.thejokeindex.com/index.php?entry=entry080521-210214
The other redneck, not knowing what to do quickly calls 911. When the operator asks "what's wrong?", He says "I don't know we were just walking along and Bubba just falls over.

The operator asks "Is he dead?" and the redneck says "I don't know that either".

The operator says "well you need to make sure!"

The redneck says okay and lays the phone down.

A few seconds pass and then the operator hears "cha click, boom!"

The redneck comes back on the line and asks "Now What?"]]> http://huntingjokes.thejokeindex.com/index.php?entry=entry080521-210214 The Joke Index hj@thejokeindex.com Thu, 22 May 2008 02:02:14 GMT http://huntingjokes.thejokeindex.com/comments.php?y=08&m=05&entry=entry080521-210214 http://huntingjokes.thejokeindex.com/index.php?entry=entry080513-232802
Afternoon: Fire gun for help---eat wild berries. 2:15 PM: Run out of bullets---eight deer come back. 2:20 PM: Strange feeling in stomach. 2:30 PM: Realize that you ate poison berries. 2:45 PM: Rescued. 2:55 PM: Rushed to hospital to have stomach pumped, throw up instead. 3:15 PM: Arrive back at camp. 3:30 PM: Leave camp to kill deer. 4:00 PM: Return to camp for bullets. 4:01 PM: Load gun---leave camp again.

Evening: 5:00 PM: Empty gun on bug that is bugging you. 6:00 PM: Arrive at camp -- see deer grazing. 6:01 PM: Load gun. 6:02 PM: Fire gun. 6:03 PM: One dead pickup. 6:05 PM: Hunting partners arrive in camp dragging deer. 6:06 PM: Repress desire to shoot hunting partners. 6:07 PM: Fall into fire. 6:10 PM: Change clothing, throw burned ones in fire. 6:15 PM: Take pickup, leave hunting partners and deer in camp. 6:25 PM: Pickup boils over due to hole shot in block. 6:26 PM: Start walking. 6:30 PM: Stumble and fall, drop gun in mud. 6:35 PM: Meet bear. 6:36 PM: Take aim. 6:37 PM: Fire gun, blow up barrel that's plugged with mud. 6:38 PM: Mess pants. 6:39 PM: Climb tree. 11:00 PM: Bear leaves. Wrap gun around tree.

Midnight: Home at last. Fall on knees thanking Maker.

Next day: Watch football game on TV, slowly tearing up hunting license into small pieces, place in envelope, and mail to Game Warden.]]> http://huntingjokes.thejokeindex.com/index.php?entry=entry080513-232802 The Joke Index hj@thejokeindex.com Wed, 14 May 2008 04:28:02 GMT http://huntingjokes.thejokeindex.com/comments.php?y=08&m=05&entry=entry080513-232802 http://huntingjokes.thejokeindex.com/index.php?entry=entry080509-205522
Remembering the universal distress signal of fireing 3 shots, he fires 3 shots into the air and waits.

After an hour he fires 3 more shots. Another hour goes by and still no one comes to help.

Preparing for the next sequence he says to himself, “I hope somebody comes this time because these are my last three arrows.”]]> http://huntingjokes.thejokeindex.com/index.php?entry=entry080509-205522 The Joke Index hj@thejokeindex.com Sat, 10 May 2008 01:55:22 GMT http://huntingjokes.thejokeindex.com/comments.php?y=08&m=05&entry=entry080509-205522 http://huntingjokes.thejokeindex.com/index.php?entry=entry080503-210006
Anyone who is mistaken for a moose and shot, is probably better off anyway.

Did you hear about the guy who went elephant hunting and ended up in the hospital? He got a hernia carrying the decoys.

A lady came up to me on the street, pointed at my suede jacket and said, "Don't you know a cow was murdered for that jacket?" I said, "I didn't know there were any witnesses. Now I'll have to kill you too."

Definition of Vegetarian: Old Indian word for bad hunter.

What did the turkey say to the turkey hunter? "Quack! Quack! Quack!"]]> http://huntingjokes.thejokeindex.com/index.php?entry=entry080503-210006 The Joke Index hj@thejokeindex.com Sun, 04 May 2008 02:00:06 GMT http://huntingjokes.thejokeindex.com/comments.php?y=08&m=05&entry=entry080503-210006 http://huntingjokes.thejokeindex.com/index.php?entry=entry080430-201706
"No," said Ed.

"Well, a beautiful bald eagle just flew overhead,".

"Oh," said Ed.

A couple of minutes later, Al says, "Did you see that?"

"See what?" Ed asks.

"Are you blind? There was a big, black bear walking on that hill, over there."

"Oh."

A few minutes later the Al says: "Did you see that?"

By now, Ed is getting angry, so he says, "Yes, I did!"

And Al says: "Then why did you step in it?"]]> http://huntingjokes.thejokeindex.com/index.php?entry=entry080430-201706 The Joke Index hj@thejokeindex.com Thu, 01 May 2008 01:17:06 GMT http://huntingjokes.thejokeindex.com/comments.php?y=08&m=04&entry=entry080430-201706 http://huntingjokes.thejokeindex.com/index.php?entry=entry080426-210249
They blindfolded him carefully and took him to his first animal skin. After feeling it for a few moments, he announced, "Spring Buck." Then he felt for the bullet hole and declared, "Shot with a .22 rifle." The others could not believe it. He was right, and the argument was even hotter than before. When some started to suggest that he must have peeked, he said that he was prepared to do it again. He would put up all the drinks they had bought before against them buying another round for him.

So they blindfolded him again, very thoroughly this time, and they brought a skin that someone happened to have in their car. He took a bit longer this time and then said, "Kalahari Lion" and fingering the bullet hole said, "and the rifle was a .308," which of course was right. This, of course, was like throwing fat on the fire, and he had to prove is skills over and over again, every time against a round of drinks.

Finally he staggered home, stoned out of his mind, and went to sleep. The next morning he got up and saw in the mirror that he had one heck of a shiner. So he said to his wife, "Listen, I know I was drunk last night, but not too drunk to know that I did not fight anyone in that bar. So where did I get this black eye?" His wife replied angrily, "From me, of course."

"But what did I do?" he asked. She replied, "You got into bed and put your hand down my panties. Then you fiddled around a bit and announced in a triumphant tone: 'Skunk, killed with an axe'." ]]> http://huntingjokes.thejokeindex.com/index.php?entry=entry080426-210249 The Joke Index hj@thejokeindex.com Sun, 27 Apr 2008 02:02:49 GMT http://huntingjokes.thejokeindex.com/comments.php?y=08&m=04&entry=entry080426-210249 http://huntingjokes.thejokeindex.com/index.php?entry=entry080422-200726
The other guy saw this and was wondering what was going on. So he stopped, ran back to the first guy and asked, "Why are you putting on your running shoes? Do you really think you are going to be able to out run that bear with those?"

The other guy replied, "I don't have to out run the bear, I just have to out run you!"
]]> http://huntingjokes.thejokeindex.com/index.php?entry=entry080422-200726 The Joke Index hj@thejokeindex.com Wed, 23 Apr 2008 01:07:26 GMT http://huntingjokes.thejokeindex.com/comments.php?y=08&m=04&entry=entry080422-200726 http://huntingjokes.thejokeindex.com/index.php?entry=entry080420-115421
The father replied, "Those are smart pills. Try a couple." So the kid grabbed a couple of them and put them in his mouth. The boy made a funny face and said to his dad, "Ewww! Yuk! They taste like s---."

The father replied, "See, you're getting smarter already."]]> http://huntingjokes.thejokeindex.com/index.php?entry=entry080420-115421 The Joke Index hj@thejokeindex.com Sun, 20 Apr 2008 16:54:21 GMT http://huntingjokes.thejokeindex.com/comments.php?y=08&m=04&entry=entry080420-115421 http://huntingjokes.thejokeindex.com/index.php?entry=entry080419-214614
He decided to try to break the news to a friend of his, the eternal complainer who refused to be impressed with anything. This, surely, would impress him. He invited him to hunt with him and his new dog.

As they waited by the shore, a flock of ducks flew by. they fired, and a duck fell. The dog responded and jumped into the water. The dog, however, did not sink but instead walked across the water to retrieve the bird, never getting more than his paws wet. This continued all day long; each time a duck fell, the dog walked across the surface of the water to retrieve it.

The complainer watched carefully, saw everything, but did not say a single word.

On the drive home the hunter asked his friend, "Did you notice anything unusual about my new dog?"

"I sure did," responded the complainer. "He can't swim."]]> http://huntingjokes.thejokeindex.com/index.php?entry=entry080419-214614 The Joke Index hj@thejokeindex.com Sun, 20 Apr 2008 02:46:14 GMT http://huntingjokes.thejokeindex.com/comments.php?y=08&m=04&entry=entry080419-214614