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Bill asked her, "What are you up to?" Betty smiles and replied, "I'm going hunting with you!" Bill, though he had many reservations about this, reluctantly decided to take her along.

Later, they arrived at the hunting site. Bill sets his wife safely up in the tree stand and tells her, "If you see a deer, take careful aim on it and I'll come running back as soon as I hear the shot."

Bill walks away with a smile on his face knowing that Betty couldn't bag an elephant, much less a deer. Not ten minutes passed, when he is startled as he hears an array of gunshots.

Quickly, he starts running back. As he gets closer to her stand, he hears Betty screaming, "Get away from my deer!"

Confused, he races faster towards his screaming wife. And again he hears her yell, "Get away from my deer!" followed by another volley of gunfire.

Within sight of where he had left his wife, he is surprised to see a man, standing there, with his hands high in the air. The man, obviously distraught, says, "Okay, lady, okay. You can have your deer. Just let me get my saddle off it."]]> http://huntingjokes.thejokeindex.com/index.php?entry=entry120416-181112 The Joke Index hj@thejokeindex.com Tue, 17 Apr 2012 01:11:12 GMT http://huntingjokes.thejokeindex.com/comments.php?y=12&m=04&entry=entry120416-181112 http://huntingjokes.thejokeindex.com/index.php?entry=entry120416-180748
The man answered, "180." Saint Peter replied, "What were you? A rocket scientist?" "Yes, sir," the man answered. "Okay, go on in," said Saint Peter.

The next man came up to Saint Peter. Peter asked the same question of him. "160," replied the second man. "What were you, a brain surgeon?" Peter asked the man. "Yes, sir." He was allowed in, too.

The third man came forward and was asked the same question. "68," he replied. "Well." said Saint Peter. "Did you get your deer?"]]> http://huntingjokes.thejokeindex.com/index.php?entry=entry120416-180748 The Joke Index hj@thejokeindex.com Tue, 17 Apr 2012 01:07:48 GMT http://huntingjokes.thejokeindex.com/comments.php?y=12&m=04&entry=entry120416-180748 http://huntingjokes.thejokeindex.com/index.php?entry=entry120416-173804
The father replied, "Those are smart pills. Try a couple."

The boy grabbed a couple of them and put them in his mouth. The boy made a funny face and said to his father, "They taste awful."

The father replied, "See, you're getting smarter already."]]> http://huntingjokes.thejokeindex.com/index.php?entry=entry120416-173804 The Joke Index hj@thejokeindex.com Tue, 17 Apr 2012 00:38:04 GMT http://huntingjokes.thejokeindex.com/comments.php?y=12&m=04&entry=entry120416-173804 http://huntingjokes.thejokeindex.com/index.php?entry=entry080717-181449
His wife decided that she wanted to go out on the lake and enjoy the sunset so she went down to the lake and pushed the canoe out.

Not long afterwards a gamewarden came by, and asked if she had her fishing license with her. "I'm not fishing" she replied. The warden answered back, "Well perhaps not, but you have all the equipment. I'm going to have to write you a citation for not having a license."

The wife slightly aggitated but quick on her feet said to him, "Well, alright. But I'm going to have to call the cops and have you arrested for raping me.". "What!!" the game warden replied, "I didn't rape you!". To this the woman replied, "Well perhaps not, but you have all the equipment."]]> http://huntingjokes.thejokeindex.com/index.php?entry=entry080717-181449 The Joke Index hj@thejokeindex.com Fri, 18 Jul 2008 01:14:49 GMT http://huntingjokes.thejokeindex.com/comments.php?y=08&m=07&entry=entry080717-181449 http://huntingjokes.thejokeindex.com/index.php?entry=entry080625-142542
As the lawyer climbed over the fence, an elderly farmer drove up on his tractor and asked the lawyer what he was doing.

The lawyer responded, "I shot a duck and it fell into this field, and now I'm going to retrieve it."

The old farmer replied. "This is my property, and your not coming over here."

The indignant lawyer replied. "I'm one of the best trial lawyers around, and if you don't let me get that duck, I'll sue you and take everything that you own.

The old farmer smiled and said, "Apparently, you don't know how we do things in these parts. We settle small disagreements like this, with the Three Kick Rule."

The lawyer asked, "What is the Three Kick Rule?"

The farmer replied, "Well, first I kick you three times and then you kick me three times, and so on, back and forth until someone gives up."

The lawyer quickly thought about the proposed contest and decided that he could easily take the old codger. He agreed to abide by the local custom.

The old farmer slowly gets down from the tractor and walked up to the city fella. His first kick planted the toe of his heavy work boot into the lawyer's groin, which dropped him to his knees.

His second kick nearly ripped the nose off his face.

The lawyer was flat on his belly, when the farmer's third kick to a kidney nearly causing him to give up, but didn't.

The lawyer summoned every bit of his will and managed to get to his feet and said, "Okay, now it's my turn."

The old farmer smiled and said,

"Naw, I give up, You can keep the duck!"]]> http://huntingjokes.thejokeindex.com/index.php?entry=entry080625-142542 The Joke Index hj@thejokeindex.com Wed, 25 Jun 2008 21:25:42 GMT http://huntingjokes.thejokeindex.com/comments.php?y=08&m=06&entry=entry080625-142542 http://huntingjokes.thejokeindex.com/index.php?entry=entry080529-235123
The group appointed Joe to get supplies.

Joe went into the store and bought 10 bottles of whiskey, 12 cases of beer and 2 packages of hotdogs.

When he returned to the camp the group looked in his truck and they asked, "Joe, what in the world are we gonna do with all them damn hotdogs?"]]> http://huntingjokes.thejokeindex.com/index.php?entry=entry080529-235123 The Joke Index hj@thejokeindex.com Fri, 30 May 2008 04:51:23 GMT http://huntingjokes.thejokeindex.com/comments.php?y=08&m=05&entry=entry080529-235123 http://huntingjokes.thejokeindex.com/index.php?entry=entry080521-210214
The other redneck, not knowing what to do quickly calls 911. When the operator asks "what's wrong?", He says "I don't know we were just walking along and Bubba just falls over.

The operator asks "Is he dead?" and the redneck says "I don't know that either".

The operator says "well you need to make sure!"

The redneck says okay and lays the phone down.

A few seconds pass and then the operator hears "cha click, boom!"

The redneck comes back on the line and asks "Now What?"]]> http://huntingjokes.thejokeindex.com/index.php?entry=entry080521-210214 The Joke Index hj@thejokeindex.com Thu, 22 May 2008 02:02:14 GMT http://huntingjokes.thejokeindex.com/comments.php?y=08&m=05&entry=entry080521-210214 http://huntingjokes.thejokeindex.com/index.php?entry=entry080513-232802
Afternoon: Fire gun for help---eat wild berries. 2:15 PM: Run out of bullets---eight deer come back. 2:20 PM: Strange feeling in stomach. 2:30 PM: Realize that you ate poison berries. 2:45 PM: Rescued. 2:55 PM: Rushed to hospital to have stomach pumped, throw up instead. 3:15 PM: Arrive back at camp. 3:30 PM: Leave camp to kill deer. 4:00 PM: Return to camp for bullets. 4:01 PM: Load gun---leave camp again.

Evening: 5:00 PM: Empty gun on bug that is bugging you. 6:00 PM: Arrive at camp -- see deer grazing. 6:01 PM: Load gun. 6:02 PM: Fire gun. 6:03 PM: One dead pickup. 6:05 PM: Hunting partners arrive in camp dragging deer. 6:06 PM: Repress desire to shoot hunting partners. 6:07 PM: Fall into fire. 6:10 PM: Change clothing, throw burned ones in fire. 6:15 PM: Take pickup, leave hunting partners and deer in camp. 6:25 PM: Pickup boils over due to hole shot in block. 6:26 PM: Start walking. 6:30 PM: Stumble and fall, drop gun in mud. 6:35 PM: Meet bear. 6:36 PM: Take aim. 6:37 PM: Fire gun, blow up barrel that's plugged with mud. 6:38 PM: Mess pants. 6:39 PM: Climb tree. 11:00 PM: Bear leaves. Wrap gun around tree.

Midnight: Home at last. Fall on knees thanking Maker.

Next day: Watch football game on TV, slowly tearing up hunting license into small pieces, place in envelope, and mail to Game Warden.]]> http://huntingjokes.thejokeindex.com/index.php?entry=entry080513-232802 The Joke Index hj@thejokeindex.com Wed, 14 May 2008 04:28:02 GMT http://huntingjokes.thejokeindex.com/comments.php?y=08&m=05&entry=entry080513-232802